Sunday, July 05, 2009
Got this email in my inbox days ago, and I can't help but to agree with it.
'DO NOT LOOK BACK AND ASK WHY, LOOK FORWARD AND ASK WHY NOT'
A very valuable lesson to learn ...
Interesting quote from the movie 'Why did I get married?'
In most cases, especially in relationships, you will only get 80% of what you NEED and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT in your relationship.
There is always another person (man or women) that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is lacking in your relationship that you WANT And believe me, 20% looks really good when you are not getting it at all in your current relationship.
But the problem is that you will always be tempted to leave that good 80% that you know you have, thinking that you will get something better with the other 20% that you WANT.
But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will always end up with having the 20% that you WANT and loosing the 80% that you really NEED and that you already had.
Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life.
Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have.
'Wow, this girl in my office is a real looker. But it's not her Wynona Rider features that got me. I'm crazy about her because she's also understanding, intelligent, tender - so many things that my spouse is not'.
Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive.
More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer. Have greater sex appeal.
And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse ever did.
Because no wife or husband is perfect.
Because a spouse will only have 80% of what you're looking for.
So adultery takes place when a husband or wife looks for the missing 20%.
Let's say your wife is melancholic by nature.
You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no matter what she says: 'I broke my arm yesterday, Hahahaha . . ..'
Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pyjamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt.
Or because your husband is the quiet type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show host.
But wait! That's only 20% of what you don't have.
Don't throw away the 80% that you already have!
That's not all.
Add to your spouse's 80% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other.
The storms you have weathered together.
The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple.
The many adjustments you have made to love the other.
The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers.
Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have.
But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have.
That pretty much relates to some stories that I have heard in the recent weeks.
Besides hearing a lot of people telling me that who who who is getting married and etc, on the other hand, I have heard a number of stories about the boyfriends/husbands cheating on their girlfriends/wives.
Yes, very contradicting indeed, but sad to say, life is not always a bed of roses.
At this moment, one person maybe enjoying the bless of love, but at this same minute, someone maybe nursing a broken heart.
The love aspect for one person maybe smooth sailing, but to another, she may need to weather a lot of storms before finding The One.
It doesn't really come as a surprise when I heard of those cheating happenings.
I know of some guy friends who cheated on their girlfriends and many a times they will give the same excuse that feelings are fading between them and blah blah blah.
Not too sure how true that is, but I must agree that's one of the top excuse or reason that is used when one cheats.
But I do agree that at this century, it's not only the guys, the girls ain't that faithful anymore.
Is it worth giving up that 80% for that 20% that's lacking?
Many a times when we are in the relationship, we are blinded by a lot of things, we can't really organise our thoughts and decide what is it that we really need or want.
I had given up the 80%, for that 20% which I'm lacking before, only to realise that this 20% is not something that I want and need.
Well, that happened years and years ago, and I have learnt since then.
I will no longer give up the 80% for the 20%, but I will give up the 80% for myself.
I got to understand that it's not worth to give up a relationship because of someone else, only give it up because of yourself.
Though, hearing all those cheating stories didn't come as a surprise to me, but it does bring along a lot of negative thoughts with it.
With cheating partners being such a norm these day, relationships are getting so complicated.
That's the very reason why I always thought that it's hard to trust someone.
Trust is not something that can be built up overnight.
In the initial stage of getting to know someone, there are always doubts about that person's actions and words.
How much can we trust, and how true are his/her words?
Well, it takes a lot of time and efforts to build up the trust, and once you have done that, cherish it and not give it up so easily, unless you really know that you will be so much happier out of it.
Stay strong to the dear friend of mine who is trying to get over the jerk.
Though it's hard now, I'm sure you will come out of it stronger and better.
Look at all the other life aspects that you have missed out on, I'm sure you will be able to do it!
Dreaming of you. 1:04:00 PM
Thursday, July 02, 2009
In a relationship.
When girls get into a relationship, they change, be it for the better or for the worse.
Not too sure about the guys, but I thought that girls are usually the more dependent one in a relationship.
From the start till the end, female species tend to want to spend all their time with their other half, and often, this is at the expense of their friends, family and themselves.
I understand that when one get into a relationship, the time which they used to have for themselves, family and friends will now need to be divided into one more section - The Boyfriend.
But more often than not, we might have overdone it.
I have encountered peeps making arrangements with their friends and backing out at the last minute, reason being that they got to meet up with The Boyfriend.
Or peeps not confirming on meet ups and such till the last minute all because they got to check if The Boyfriend has time for them.
Not very interesting indeed.
And what happened to the sticky girlfriend when things go wrong in the relationship?
She seems to have all the time for you.
In my past relationships, and during the first couple of years together with Andy, I got to admit that I were a sticky girlfriend.
The Boyfriend is always my top priority and many a time I will give up the time with my friends for him.
Thoughts only started to change after I finished poly, during the HSBC days and when I got into SIM.
I realised that it isn't all about The Boyfriend and I'm missing out on a lot of other stuffs in life.
Then, I got to be more independent, and am currently learning to, spending more time with my family, my friends and more importantly myself.
Having said that, of course spending time with The Boyfriend is important, but I guess there should be a balance in everything, and we should all respect that each and everyone of us should have our own space.
With the space and the chance to miss the other half, the relationship should progress further, isn't that so?
Well, bless all the love birds and of course my single ladies!
PS: This entry is not about anything or anyone, these are just thoughts.
Dreaming of you. 9:20:00 PM
Saturday, June 27, 2009
A cup of coffee in the morning of twenty-six June kept me hyper the whole day.
Yes, I'm super sensitive to caffeine.
Only slept at around 3am that morning, and knowing that it will be a long day ahead, I drowned myself with a cup of the caffeine early that day.
That really got me hyper for the whole day.
But well, I managed to survive the whole day with just 3 hours of sleep.
Kudos to coffee!
Never offer me a cup of coffee if you can't stand the hyper-ness.
Poor Yiwen, she had to entertain my hyper-ness and the non-stop picture taking requests.
Well, I think she enjoyed the cam-whore session too.
There are so many pics of her in the folder!
It had been weeks since I last met Yiwen.
I realised that our meet ups scheduled are always weird.
It's either that we will be meeting consecutively for days/weeks, or we will not be seeing each other for a while.
Nonetheless, distance never kept us apart, we are always able to pick up the bits that we left off, crapping and ranting non-stop, sharing the juiciest gossips and news.
But then again, I don't bitch with everyone, cause I understand that all girls are bitchy and that those who gossip with you, gossip about you too.
And yes, I'm so disgusted by the behaviours of some people.
So much so that when Yiwen asked me about it yesterday, I can't stop ranting on, and till this moment, I'm still ranting about it.
Well, I have learnt to only bitch/gossip with that few gfs of mine.
So that's not going to bother me, anymore, period.
Non-stop play with my camera.
The drama only ended when the battery died.
But we continued with Yiwen's phone in the supermarket, till the phone decided to give up too.
Damn lame, I know.
Cheers to a wonderful weekend, I'm meeting Yiwen again later!
I hope Ishe won't get tired of seeing herme again.
Dreaming of you. 2:22:00 PM
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Can someone please do something to the clock so that I can rewind back to the past?
I was looking at the old pics and I realised that I had age a lot!
I have got tired looking eyes now and the eye bags are getting so obvious!
To think that, people kept telling me clubbing and late nights make one age, I aged even more when I don't party much now!
It's work that makes one age!
So can someone please tell me not to work, then I can stay young forever!
Anyway, looking at those pics brought back wonderful memories.
Those were the days when everything is so fun!
Follow me down the memory lane, babies.
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....
..
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December 2006
Say hello to my new set of teeth!
Braces were removed then, and I can smile all I want with my new whities.
Oh, my face was kinda chubby, that's my baby fats!
March 2007
With our long long long long hair!
Exactly two year later, March 2008.
My hair still look the same, though it's supposed to be permed then.
Well, I didn't have a thorough hair cut for 2 whole years.
May 2007
See, I'm not so fat then!
November 2007
My long curly hair.
I miss my long hair!
I have decided to let it grow and not cut it anymore.
November 2008
When I'm still kinda energetic.
March 2009
A good hair cut after so many years.
So now you know why I keep complaining that I gained weight and am looking so haggard......
Dreaming of you. 2:22:00 PM
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
The RJJ Gathering.
Initial plan was to have our dinner and drinks at Timbre, but it was so crowded, so we ended up at Clarke Quay, again.
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I'm super tired now, gonna shower and sleep soon.
Nitez all.
Dreaming of you. 8:54:00 PM
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Gossip-mongers are all around you.
And I just read this on Carrie's blog,
Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you.
~Spanish Proverb
How true!!
One tends to criticize others, but many a times, they didn't realise that they may be talking about themselves.
Horrible people out there.
*Kick your asses away!*
Believe in yourself.
See what your eyes see, hear what your ears hear, do what your brain tells, and follow what your heart says.
Dreaming of you. 11:24:00 PM
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
I have this thought, and that's to do a backpacking trip.
Yes, you didn't read it wrong.
I want to BACKPACK!!!
I thought that it's not quite possible for me to do it when I'm old or have other commitments.
So it will be good if I can do it now or anytime soon, but it doesn't serves the purpose if it's just for a couple of weeks.
...
.....
.......
Guess I need to do some plannings, and start to save for it!
Dreaming of you. 11:38:00 PM
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Just finished 'The Top 10 Habits of Millionaire'.
Had this book for quite a while, but was reading some other books then.
Quite a good read, and it's not about investment, but it's more about life, changing the mindset and all to improve oneself.
Another inspiring read, 'Gorgeous, Sexy and Rich'.
Can't help but agreed on some of the points made, especially on the part about women being financially independent.
It's scary when a wife needs to depend on the husband for her living, can you imagine if the husband dies or the marriage ends off with a divorce?
The wife will be at a loss!
And many a times, because of this, women are holding on to a failed marriage.
We only live life once, shouldn't it be a happy marriage to enhance the life, rather than a torturing one to make life miserable?
Just got these books today and shall start on it soon.
As you can see, not much party pics as compared to the past.
Life is quieter now.
But, but, but, I was at Butter with Fang yesterday!
If I were to look at my blog's archive, I can see that life is totally different now.
It's like a whole different life that I'm leading.
Back then, during the poly days, cousin Carrie and I will hit the clubs every Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday, and on certain weeks, Thursday too.
I guess this went on for a couple of months?!
Can't really remember, but I wonder where we get the energy to do that.
Then during the SIM days, Wednesday nights will normally be spent at Phuture or Powerhouse with the LKs.
And after the break up with Andy, I had a bit of clubbing nights.
But I got kinda sick of all the partying and decided to get back to some normal activities.
Not that I will say no to clubs now, I guess at times, I will have the 'let's go party' mood.
But very often now, rather than spending hours in clubs, I would prefer doing something quieter and slow.
Even chilling at places with live bands which I used to dread appeals more to me now.
Yes, signs of getting old.
But this is the kind of life that I want now, and who knows months down the road, I will have the 'I want a party life' mood again.
At least, till now, I have been there and done that, and I want to do a different kind of life now.
Blading again with Jamie tomorrow.
Enjoy this weekend peeps!
Dreaming of you. 12:36:00 AM
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
To have more, one must become more.
Growing is one of the main purposes of life.
Growth takes time.
Be patient with yourself as you gain knowlegde.
Knowledge is a seed and it takes time for seeds to grow into trees that bear fruit.
Dreaming of you. 10:02:00 PM
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
My emotion is just like the stock market, riding up and down.
Been thinking through some stuffs for the past couple of days, and I realised that I am still haunted by the past relationship.
I thought I have moved on, but it seems to be otherwise.
It's not so much of me still having thoughts of the ex, but it's more of the experience that's holding me back.
As much as I wanted to, there are a lot of 'what ifs', and I'm kind of paranoid to open up now, for fear of disappointment again.
I know it's the 'you never try, you never know' thingy.
In other aspect of life, I'm game for everything, but when it comes to relationship, I admit that I'm not much of a risk taker, especially now.
I know that ultimately I need to move on.
And I understand that no matter what others tell me, or how they encourage me, it's me and the party involved, if any, that need to get down to work.
So......
Everyone has got a story to tell, and a relationship to learn from.
This shall be mine, and I'm going to try moving out of the past from this moment.
Wish me luck.
Dreaming of you. 10:28:00 PM
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